Saturday, 23 November 2013
Non-Negotiables
I've realized recently that I have some non-negotiables. Ways of living, relating. Principles. Things I'm not willing to negotiate in my life. No matter what. Base lines. I've only recently become aware of them, fundamental ways I want to live my life, that were not within my view previously. Not in the frame. In the blind spot. #1 Non-negotiable is "being available" to my kids. Available in all ways of the word -- present, open, playing at their level, spending time together at different times in the day, not only when they're going crazy before bed. And being available to my wife. Emotionally there. Sexually there. Feeling desire. Being horny. This is not negotiable. I will not live my life in a way that I lose this, take a job that sucks this out, bleeds me dry, shuts me out. No financial security is worth losing this one thing. No consistent pay cheque. No pension. All decisions take into account the non-negotiables. Big & small. And anything that crosses the line has an easy answer. No.
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Hi Mike, nice post. It gets to many of the fundamental questions for me. As someone who has also left teaching and the regular paycheck for 10yrs now, I am often lured by the financial stability of regular pay, pension, etc. Each time I consider it I get an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach- what part of my life/freedom/soul will I need to give up for this Faustian bargain? And each time I don't take it. It is never an easy decision, however, as those little kids that I want to be available to require food, clothes, a roof over their heads, all requiring a paycheck from somewhere given the way our society is set up. We seem more and more required to be a specialist in one area, getting paid lots of money for it, and paying for everything else. As Charles Eisenstein says, the big business idea of the century has been to take away something we used to do/get for free and then sell it back. This can only lead to one place in my mind: an outsourced life.
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